Well, I can say in the last month things have not improved. At all.
Apparently, after hearing the news of my wife's miscarriage my father went on a drinking binge. And, for those of you playing the home game, my father is an alcoholic. I say alcoholic because he does go to meetings and still drinks.
Except this time, he drank so much is damaged his brain even further and has developed stroke-like symptoms. Yay! And, lucky me, he had no clear memory of the events of the last month. So, when he asked how the baby was doing I got to tell him about it all over again.
Wait, it gets better. I know, right, how can it possibly get better?
WELL, as it turns out what he's really suffering from is Alcoholic Psychosis. Which is a really fancy way of saying that when he drinks, he passes out and hurts himself, and then when he wakes up he has no memory of drinking so invents something to explain why he's been hurt. I know, fun! So, let's play a game I'll call real/not real. See if you can keep up.
Food poisoning he had at the beginning of the year? Not Real!
Torn rotator cuff? Not Real!
Surgery for rotator cuff? Not Real!
Arterial disease? Real!
Surgery to deal with it? Not Real!
Depression? Real!
Medication for depression? Not Real!
Oh, and here's a tip kids: Real/Not Real! Is even more fun over the phone. It's especially good if you wait until the end of the phone call to say, “no, I spoke with your nurse and your doctor. I know everything.” Yeah, extra fun right there. Fun with, like, sugar on it.
So, as you can see it's been fun times around my place. I'd ask for a majority vote to call an end to 2008 so we can just move on to 09 but there's more yet to come!
Tune in next time for “Final trip to Iowa!” as my wife's grandfather leaves Hospice.
And, there's only one way to leave Hospice. I'll let you guess which way that is.
Apparently, after hearing the news of my wife's miscarriage my father went on a drinking binge. And, for those of you playing the home game, my father is an alcoholic. I say alcoholic because he does go to meetings and still drinks.
Except this time, he drank so much is damaged his brain even further and has developed stroke-like symptoms. Yay! And, lucky me, he had no clear memory of the events of the last month. So, when he asked how the baby was doing I got to tell him about it all over again.
Wait, it gets better. I know, right, how can it possibly get better?
WELL, as it turns out what he's really suffering from is Alcoholic Psychosis. Which is a really fancy way of saying that when he drinks, he passes out and hurts himself, and then when he wakes up he has no memory of drinking so invents something to explain why he's been hurt. I know, fun! So, let's play a game I'll call real/not real. See if you can keep up.
Food poisoning he had at the beginning of the year? Not Real!
Torn rotator cuff? Not Real!
Surgery for rotator cuff? Not Real!
Arterial disease? Real!
Surgery to deal with it? Not Real!
Depression? Real!
Medication for depression? Not Real!
Oh, and here's a tip kids: Real/Not Real! Is even more fun over the phone. It's especially good if you wait until the end of the phone call to say, “no, I spoke with your nurse and your doctor. I know everything.” Yeah, extra fun right there. Fun with, like, sugar on it.
So, as you can see it's been fun times around my place. I'd ask for a majority vote to call an end to 2008 so we can just move on to 09 but there's more yet to come!
Tune in next time for “Final trip to Iowa!” as my wife's grandfather leaves Hospice.
And, there's only one way to leave Hospice. I'll let you guess which way that is.
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