So, my wife's grandfather died at the beginning of the week. It's been
five years coming due to a blockage in his heart. He was 91 years
old. So, there is much sadness in my wife's family and at our house
again.
It has been the reoccurring theme of 08.
But, the 1st was my birthday and my wife and I decided to make the best
of it. The last few years or so I have made a point of not making a
deal out of my birthday. And, really it comes down to me not wanting a
fuss made over me. I like a nice dinner at a restaurant with some
friends. This year, with my mother-in-law's death, the miscarriage, my
father's stroke, and her grandfather's death we just wanted to be alone
so it was just the two of us. And, as we got out of the car my sister
in law called. It was not to wish me a happy birthday. Her father in
law had just died.
His name was Gerry.
Now, he was more than just the father of my brother in law. He was
someone I had known since I was in high school. He was a father figure
for me. His son and I have been friends for longer than we have known
our wives (they are sisters). When things were at their worst way back
when, Gerry's house was a safe place for me to go. My wife and I met
in their basement.
I took a lot of what it is to be a man from him. A man should be able
to hold an informed conversation with anyone, to be able to fix just
about anything, or know who to go to if he can't do it. He should be
able to cook an excellent meal, mix a martini, or tell a joke in polite
or impolite company. He should be ready with a pithy piece of advice
when asked, and keep it to himself until then.
And, in that way I will always have him with me through the things that I learned, but right now it doesn't help.
I have always worked to find the bright side. Looked for a way to say,
"hey, this isn't so bad." To look for a way to make it better.
And I can't do that anymore.
It's just become too much. There has been too much loss. Too much pain.
I'm done.
five years coming due to a blockage in his heart. He was 91 years
old. So, there is much sadness in my wife's family and at our house
again.
It has been the reoccurring theme of 08.
But, the 1st was my birthday and my wife and I decided to make the best
of it. The last few years or so I have made a point of not making a
deal out of my birthday. And, really it comes down to me not wanting a
fuss made over me. I like a nice dinner at a restaurant with some
friends. This year, with my mother-in-law's death, the miscarriage, my
father's stroke, and her grandfather's death we just wanted to be alone
so it was just the two of us. And, as we got out of the car my sister
in law called. It was not to wish me a happy birthday. Her father in
law had just died.
His name was Gerry.
Now, he was more than just the father of my brother in law. He was
someone I had known since I was in high school. He was a father figure
for me. His son and I have been friends for longer than we have known
our wives (they are sisters). When things were at their worst way back
when, Gerry's house was a safe place for me to go. My wife and I met
in their basement.
I took a lot of what it is to be a man from him. A man should be able
to hold an informed conversation with anyone, to be able to fix just
about anything, or know who to go to if he can't do it. He should be
able to cook an excellent meal, mix a martini, or tell a joke in polite
or impolite company. He should be ready with a pithy piece of advice
when asked, and keep it to himself until then.
And, in that way I will always have him with me through the things that I learned, but right now it doesn't help.
I have always worked to find the bright side. Looked for a way to say,
"hey, this isn't so bad." To look for a way to make it better.
And I can't do that anymore.
It's just become too much. There has been too much loss. Too much pain.
I'm done.
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