Birthday

I have come to hate my birthday.

Not because of the whole getting older thing, but because I am reminded of all the things that didn't happen in the last year. It's that day I can look back and say, "Yep, one more year of failure. Good job."

Well, it's not total failure. I still have a strong and happy marriage. I have a fantastic relationship with my father's answering machine. Which, I have to say, is great. I can call it at any time, day or night, and it always picks up. Usually on the first ring. It listens to whatever I need to talk about, provided it's in short sentences. And it never gives bad advice.

Of course it never gives good advice, but that's okay. You can't have everything.

My wife struggles every year to make it a happy day for me. I really love her for it, but she's flogging a dead horse, I think. Although, this year she really pulled out the stops. She got my sister and mother to come down to Padre Island with us for a few days of hanging out at the beach.

Luckily, my birthday is in what the weather people call "hurricane season" so rooms were plentiful and cheap. And, frankly, if you're not into running around on the beach, drinking, and having sex in your condo while looking at the beach there isn't much to do.

Thankfully, I'm down for at least 2 out of those three.

I tell my wife that each year is better than the last, that she has once again succeeded in making me happy on my birthday. I lie to her to help her feel better about the horror story that is my family relationships. I haven't lived within 600 miles of a family member since 1995. And that's on purpose.

I just don't get along with them, aside from my sister. She lives in another state, miles from family as well so that tells you how she feels about things.

I want to tell my wife, "hey, there's no way you can win this. today will always be a shitty day. Let's ignore it, and it will go away tomorrow." But that would make her try harder, so I keep it to myself.

If I could make my birthday go away, I would. That would be very liberating, I think.

And, since that's not going to happen, I'll just wake up tomorrow and it'll be over.